Thursday, September 18, 2014

Can I do this?

Hey :) 
This week has been so humbling. So hard. I don't feel qualified or adequate or smart or prepared enough to be a trainer. I literally have NO idea what I'm doing.
My new companion, my greenie, my daughter (lol) her name is Sister Shaylee Howard. She is from Sugar House Utah. She is 19. she went to BYU before this and was on their swim team. I wonder what god is trying to tell me by sending me all of these BYU collegiate athletes? Maybe I need to be more athletic or take up a sport or something. haha. Anyway, she is awesome. We are a lot alike in many ways... how we think mostly, how we feel about ourselves and how hard we are on ourselves hahaha. No wonder Heavenly Father put us as companions. Sister Hunt and I were the same way. She was able to help me through so much. I really have been changed by Heavenly Father and hard work since I came here. and now I have the opportunity/responsibility to guide sister  Howard through similar situations and emotions and changes. The work is still going ok. I feel like I am constantly on the verge of tears because I am so overwhelmed and a lot of anxiety. I am grateful the Heavenly Father and President Cleveland trust me with this assignment... but it is daunting. I need God's help more than ever right now. 
Last night, we were sitting at a fireside and I was feeling really overwhelmed. I said a quick prayer that someone would come talk to me, or that Heavenly Father would send me some help. Well, right after we finished planning last night, Sister Hunt called me to check on me.. It was just what I needed. She reassured me that I could do this, that I know how to do missionary work. It was an answer to my prayers. I know Heavenly Father is so aware of me. 
I felt really bad about Sister Howard's first day here though. We had appointments that fell through and 0 success tracting haha. and to top it off. The first door that she knocked on... the man came to the door and opened it...he was BUTT NAKED! hahahahahahahaha you should have seen his face, and our faces... she said ah, wrong door! and slammed the door. haha. I laughed so so hard. then I said..."well sister Howard...Welcome. Welcome to Indiana... the weirdest place on earth hahahaha" 

Elder Holland gave a talk at the Brazil MTC and He said that all we have to do is submit our will over to Heavenly Father and we willing to work hard. To lace up our shoes, to run hard, to touch 
every line. And God has promised us that he will guide us, he will work through us. When I pray I pledge to Heavenly Father that I will do it His way. Because any other way is failure. I pledge to listen to the spirit and teach by the spirit. 

I really am trying to do my best here. some days are so great. some days are so hard. but that is like regular life too ya know!? I found myself so uplifted by the spirit this morning. I was studying why commitments are so important. It is in PMG 195-200. I was just overcome with joy about the opportunity to be a missionary; about how much I love this work, and this calling. 

I know Heavenly Father is so aware of me and of each of his precious sons and daughters. He loves us all. No matter what. He wants us to keep our promises, our commitments, our COVENANTS!
I promise that as we do the things he asks us to do, the small and simple daily things, like scripture study and prayer, we will experience miracles in our lives. I see it every day here.

I love you all so much. I pray for all of you. I find comfort in my setting apart blessing, that promises me that all of you will be blessed and taken care of while I am away. I know Heavenly Father keeps his promises. So I will keep mine; to work hard, to give my all, to touch all the lines. I know that by doing so, both you and I will be blessed. Soak up the blessings and then GIVE GIVE GIVE to others in return. :))
D & C 15:6

I love you all so much. Be strong. 

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