So I opened Bob Wall's letter and hadn't read yours yet, and it said...
"Elder Shane and Sister Megan, you've probably heard that your dad is in the new Stake Presidency."
well, I was like.... what the!!! so I immediately went to your letter. sure enough. Good ol' bobby was right. Wowza. How are you feeling? Talk about a FULL plate. Hope you were hungry. I just had this feeling that something like that was going to happen. We were driving to the library today and I was anticipating what my emails would say... I was like... man if my dad is the new stake president... I might die. not because I know you will not be perfect for it, and because you are not qualified or anything like that, but because... now I feel like I will NEVER see you again hahaha. jk. I live in Indiana anyway! Anyway, dad, you've got this. What I've experienced on my mission so far is something like this.... I feel super pumped, and strong, and I work my butt off... and then I start to get discouraged and things get really hard and I feel like I could quit.. but I still work hard, and Heavenly Father sends a tender mercy... a little reminder of who I am and how important this work is... and then I feel recharged. Right at the moment of breaking, He swoops in and lifts us a little. Muscles only get stronger if you tear them up till the point of breaking. Then you are fueled by the spirit and by the love of God. and you become much more than you were before.
I guess that is what my past week was. I was really really sick this past week. I don't know what is going on, but it is SO discouraging. I just want to feel like superwoman again and to go go go and not ever worry about my body. I felt like giving up. On sunday we had "Why I Believe" It is that fireside that I have told you about in the past where recent converts get up and talk about their conversion process. Also, departing missionaries give their final testimony. The spirit was so strong, and the messages were JUST what I needed to hear. My studies that day were great, and the primary program at church softened my heart as I listened to the songs that are so simple and so pure and so filled with the spirit. Heavenly Father knew I needed him. He reached down yesterday, when I was about to break, and strengthened me. He filled my torn muscles with some organic, gluten free, lactose free, pea protein powder. :)
This week I am focusing on prayer. I don't want to feel like my prayers are just hitting the ceiling. I read these conference talks or these experiences that people have in the scriptures about mighty prayer and people talk about knowing that god is there and feeling it in your prayers. I want that! I read a talk this morning from Elder Wirthlin about prayer. It was really good. It talked about reasons why our prayers might be lacking. I know that prayer is the Key to the strength that I need. Prayer combined with faith works miracles. I sure could use some hahaha.
Mom. I do not doubt for one second that you are strong enough to bear another change. You have a grace inside of you, a mental and physical toughness that is undeniable. I have seen you dig deep again and again. You can do this. Yesterday is our correlation meeting, our WML brought up the two 11 year old twin girls we are teaching. I guess Bishop is upset or something that we are teaching 11 year olds who dont have active parents... (if they had active parents then we probably wouldnt need to be teaching them? hahaha) anyway, I was pretty saddened by this and told them about you. I said that my mom grew up in a home where she didnt have the support she needed from parents, but her YW friends and leaders were her support! And Today she is Amazing and strong and happy. Who knows what and where she would be without the YW program and the help she had from the ward! So we are teaching these girls! because this is exactly what they need to make it through junior high and high school alive! Without the gospel, life will gobble them up. They need this. And after they are baptized, it is up to YOU and their leaders, to be their family.
I feel SO strongly about fellowshipping. It is honestly pointless to do missionary work if nobody is going to be their friend when they get to church. Are these fresh new faces strong enough to sit alone at church every sunday and never be talked to? Never be invited over? Never be asked to teach anything or share anything or serve? probably not. Even at my YSA ward in provo, every week Kate and I were asked if we were new? We had been there months. That made us never want to go. Please Please Please. open your eyes to others around you. There are people who are sitting alone. There are people who are less active and who have taken a step out of their comfort zone. They need love.
Love is the GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST! that is what it is all about. When people feel the love of God from the missionary lessons and from the book of mormon and from their own prayers, they want it more and more and more. It is what drives people to their knees and brings people to church. But the love has to be at church too.
okay I am off my soap box.
Heavenly Father is blessing us with so many miracles, and so many opportunities to get outside ourselves and to love. I am so happy that I am here. I am so happy I decided to serve. I never would have felt this type of joy or this type or sorrow or this type or change had I not come. I know this is changing me to be much more than I ever could on my own.
I keep reading the 4th missionary talk every morning on the treadmill. I love it. it is so inspiring.
Thank you all for your love and your prayers. Thank you for sending me on a mission, for having the faith to let me go. For helping me financially. For teaching me all of my life. I feel like I came out here so prepared because you ALWAYS made sure I read and prayed and you taught me SO well. Thank you for pushing me. Thank you for being tough on me.
I don't ever want to let any of you down, and I never want to let the lord down.
I hope you all know I am trying my best everyday :)
This week is about positivity and prayer :) I will let you know how it goes next week :)
Love you all. Be strong. Remember who you are and Whose you are. This life is about SOOO much more than we sometimes remember.
Love you forever. I AM SO THRILLED THAT WE HAVE FOREVER!!!!! AH :)
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212 ALWAYS (duh) hot hot hot
4th missionary.
Keaton Gerrard got to meet Sister Cooley for breakfast at IHOP! Lucky Man!
Yummy?
Sister Megan Anne Ray Cooley.
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