8 months!

How is life going? Mine is good. I think back to my past and I wouldn't want to change anything about it. I want to become good at focusing on the simple things of life. It is especially hard to find those small things when life is hard. Anyone can feel happy and motivated when their bills are paid, Their jobs are good and life is going well. We know that that isn't the case though... Life is going to throw a brick at you. The race isn't given to the quick and the swift; The race is given to those that can endure. I want to get better at not only enduring but enduring it well... trust me there IS a difference. 

We taught an awesome new family this week. I have only talked to them once but it went great as far as I could tell. It is a part member family and the husband was very close to being baptized because of an awesome experience that he had with his family. We Invited him again to read the Book of Mormon and be baptized. I told him that since I have been on my mission I have never felt more shaken in my faith and felt so weak. People say that we are supposed to be out here as spiritual giants but I have never felt so small. Inst it supposed to be the other way around? I told him that that the closer you get to God the harder it will become. Those walls are there to show see how bad you want it. When those walls get rough and times get hard you are going to need something to desperately grip. What do you have to hold onto? It is going to be the things that you know from your heart that will get you through. Dont let go of those experiences that you had with your family and that you know are true. I also believe there is a redemptive power that making a choice has and the actions that follow that decision. That is because There are so many oppositions and different opinions in the world, that if you don't know where you are going then you will end up some place else; that some place might not be where you want to be if you are not careful. It is important to decide.. Just decide.. Where you want to go. That foundation of beliefs (the things you KNOW) will weather you and your family through the storms. Remember those powerful experiences.

I am at 8 months now! time flies. I have goals for before I come home. I have been amazed looking back at my past and I do not know what to expect for the next 8 months. Life is full of mysteries and experiences. I don't know what to expect but I know that I don't feel like the same person. I have a new perspective of life and how I want to react to situations. I look forward to the future and the opportunities that it holds. I received a call from Fernando this week. It meant a lot to me. It is hard to see your progress out here and has gotten me very discouraged. But he told me how much It meant to him for me being out here. He called the mission the front lines of the world. He is now clean from drinking and is planning on getting remarried with his wife since she left him earlier because of drinking. He said he is driving a bus for a church now during the week and every Sunday. He has strong faith in God and I am very happy for him.    

It has been raining a lot these past few days. I guess the cane farmers are really worried about their crops right now. Especially if a hurricane comes through then all of their crops will be lost for this year if they haven't all ready plowed yet. All that you see around here lately has been cane trucks, cane tractors and clouds of smoke from burning the fields after harvesting. It always smells like camp fire... I love that smell. I love the rain and stuff like that. 

We went to the temple the other day to do sealings for a man whose wife died. He is very happy to have the names done and we also had some names from our ward mission leaders family. I saw a huge group of people from my favorite area in the mission also. It was awesome seeing them. It was the same family that I made the knife for. 

We do a lot of things throughout the week but It is usually the same old. Let me know if you want me to write about anything specific. I love you fam and friends.

Elder Cooley

Letting Go of What Defined Me.

Vegetarian. Runner. Shy. Marathoner. Funny. Pescatarian. Anorexic. CrossFitter. Loving. Intense. Paleo. Healthy. Crazy. Determined. Beautiful. Smart. Lazy. Tense. Gay. Tall. Short. Fat. Skinny.

Who are you, and what are you letting define you? Is it your hobbies? Perhaps it is your eating habits or the music you listen to or the way you dress? Have you ever been labeled as something, and allowed that label to become your identity? If you had a reset button, that cleared the air of everything anyone ever thought about you, the opinions that were long standing, and the labels that never seemed to wash off, would you push the button? And after the slate was cleared, how would you define yourself?

I recently returned home from an LDS mission. I've blogged in the past about my experience about returning home early due to medical conditions, more specifically, anxiety related health conditions. It has almost been a year since returning home and a lot has happened. I'be found myself amid ups and downs, hills and valleys, sorrow and bliss. I've spent a lot of time working with a counselor to challenge the anxiety triggered behavior and overcome the challenges that I face. My most recent break through came as I realized that I did not want to be define by old labels any more.

Soon after returning home from Indiana, I jumped right back in to CrossFit, a passion that I developed 2 years ago. I was going every day, sometimes spending two or more hours there each time. In the beginning, the gym was therapeutic for me. I felt myself growing stronger and it was a great distraction from my anxiety. Little did I know that eventually it would become more of the problem than the cure.

At the end of August, I thought I had a stress fracture in my foot. I didn't want to go to the Dr, because I knew they would just tell me to stay off it, or worse, put me in a boot. So I kept going to CrossFit, and the foot got worse and worse. Finally I made an appointment to get an x-ray. The morning of the x-ray came and I considered canceling it. I told Charles (my husband) that I already knew they were just going to tell me to stay off it. He kindly replied, "well, meg, don't you think you should stop doing CrossFit for awhile and stay off it?" The simple suggestion of missing a week, let alone a day's workout made anxiety swell within me. "I can't!" I replied, "I just really can't do that!"

As I went throughout that morning, I thought about that anxiety response that was so quick to jump to the surface at the mere thought of not doing CrossFit really concerned me. I knew something needed to change.

I hopped on my laptop and looked up articles and blogs about people who quit CrossFit and why. I stumbled across an article that would change my whole outlook and propel me into recovery. I found it on the heyeleanor.com, and it was titled - Quitters: What I learned quitting the thing that defined me.

I found myself crying as I read this woman's story, realizing how closely linked mine was with hers. Her words resonated within me. She had been doing this intense workout for so long, and found out that she had to have her thyroid removed. She documents her experience with realizing that she needed to quit CrossFit and listen to her body. I liked this part the best...

"I’m much softer and gentler with myself now, but I’m still mouthy and tough. Quitting CrossFit helped me remember that our identity isn’t tied up in the external stuff we do — it’s how we think: about ourselves, about the world, about the people we love. And it’s about how we treat them and ourselves. Quitting CrossFit gave me the time and space to find my compassion for myself and others, and it’s made my whole life better."

I realized after reading her article that I had most of my identity, and most of what I thought about myself tied up in external things. This made me sad, but even more so, it made me ready; ready to change, ready to actually live life in a way that creates happiness in myself and promotes happiness in others.

So I quit. That very day I cancelled my membership to my favorite CrossFit gym. It was so hard. I had all sorts of fears surface. "What if I gain weight?" "What if they all think I'm a quitter." But the worst was.."Who am I without this?"

It is so easy to get caught up in the trivial things of life. What we look like, where we exercise, what we weigh, what we eat, our jobs, our cars, our clothes. We allows such little things to define us, and often route our choices and our lives. Why do we do this to ourselves? We are made for so much more! We have a far greater purpose...we know we do.

After quitting CrossFit, I've realized that I've allowed a lot more than just exercise to define me. So little by little, I am taking small steps in defining myself in a meaningful way. I don't want to leave this earth and have people say, "Dang, she was good at the clean and jerk." or "She always ate so healthy." no. that seems like such a waste of a life.

I want to define myself with how I love others. I want to define myself with how I love God. I want to define myself with how I serve others each day. I want to define myself with how I never give up. I want to define myself by my ability to listen and empathize. I want to actually live and experience and enjoy life. I regret the trivial things I've been caught up in for the last 8 years of my life, but I have learned so much through this journey, and been changed. I've learned so much about letting go, and holding on to the things that matter most.

So ask yourself... what are you letting define you?

Live a strong life

Hey fam! 
I had a good week this week. I know that I say that every week but that is because I cant complain. I say that I cant complain because I have complained in the past and I feel like an idiot after every time that I do. I want to be strong and live a strong life... That does not include complaining then haha. I know that an attitude can make all the difference in an endeavor. I hope that I can stay consistent with a good attitude. I say consistent because that is how great things come to pass. Plus I have seen missionaries in the past that are not consistent. They are VERY nice and happy to other people and during our meetings, but once they get to the apartment where no one else sees them but their companions they turn into completely different people... People that you don't want to be around. I would have to say that one of my biggest goals in life is to be MYSELF all the time and be very real. There is only one Shane Cooley and to me I believe that that is powerful.

We had transfers this week and I am staying in New Iberia with the same companion. Mom has heard that I am more shy... I don't think that is true. I just know that the more you talk the less people remember. I think that people speak sometimes just to hear themselves talk and I feel that is where most difficulties, Misconception and arguments start. People need to be more careful with their words...that includes me. Be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to contention. 

I am working on finishing the Book of Mormon. I have been doing pretty well with it. I have put into action my goal setting again. I have no clue why I haven't been doing my goal setting like I used to. I remember in school that one day I realized something needed to change with my grades, My attitude and the direction I was going. I started setting goals and took my grades from a 3.0 to a 4.0 in one term. My grades were worse than the 3.0 previously but it all changed after that 3.0 due to goals. I have started setting goals again in every walk of my life. I do a review of them every morning and night and I go over 4 strengths that I did right and one weakness to improve on out of that day. I hope to stay consistent with this- It takes willing determination. (faith)

We met with a man the other day that is in our ward. He worked for NASA and Is a brilliant genius! You would never guess it though because he had two strokes and he lives one of the most humble lives that I have ever seen. He is still very smart... scary smart haha. On my mission I have been amazed at how not to judge to quickly. this one time With some members we had a waiter that seemed very mean and impatient at first but he ended up being the BEST waiter that I have ever seen. I made a comment to my friend "well... maybe this job isn't for everybody" But I was totally wrong about him.

One step at a time we can accomplish great things. Thank y'all for your love and support. Let me know if I can do anything for you.

Elder Cooley

Live a strong life.

Gallons of Cold Water & Miles of Sugarcane

I had a pretty alright week. I say that every week but that's because I have no room to complain. I have it good in life. 

Everyone in the ghetto loves basketball. A man named Rico here has a vision to get this area back together. He put together a basketball game with less actives and wants us to bring investigators. He said that they used to have huge games back in the day and it was amazing how great it worked with less actives and investigators. So Thursday we had a lesson with everyone and then we played a pick up game with the homies. It is different but has been effective so far. I'm not the best at basketball but I can try.

I have gone from sending one quote a day to the district to three a day. One in the morning, mid-day and at night. I am planning on turning it into an open conversation of quotes and inspiration throughout our days. Anyone can add their thoughts and quotes. Thanks for the Idea Mom, Its brilliant.

This week I was biking from Walmart to our apartment just after buying a big gallon of cold water. I was thinking in my head how much I love water and I was entertaining my thoughts of how all I want for Christmas is a gallon of cold water hahaha... I thought it was a funny. Its HOT out here! But anyways... I heard a lady screaming HEEEYY ARE YOU GUYS LDS MISSIONARIES!!?? she was bawling when she walked up to us. She said that they were trying to get back to Utah and were homeless for the time being. She had been sitting on the side of dollar tree praying like crazy for God to send some kind of help and that is when we biked by. I never knew someone could be so happy to see me before haha. We got her in contact with President Knight from our branch and left them with our two gallon jugs of water. 

It is the time of the sugarcane season where they start cutting it and shipping it to the factories. All we can see is cane fields so now all we see is tractors cutting and shipping cane stalks haha. We also have the sugarcane festival coming up soon. 

Everything else is pretty regular here. We are trying to visit all less actives and see our investigators at the same time, nothing new. I shocked my companion with a mosquito zapper after I touched it twice... haha he freaked out. It was funny.

Have a good week fam. Love y'all.

Elder Cooley

sneaky camouflage

I had a good week. I guess that what I say on every letter. But its true, I have no room to complain. Why should I ever be negative? Who is that going to help and how is that going to get me anywhere?

I cooked German pancakes and aunt Kristine's special syrup for my district this morning. Another elder did crapes and the sisters brought other stuff too. It turned out great. 

We found a new investigator this week. And a few other people that we have been working on. It is all on gods timing. I am simply an instrument that needs to be kept sharp and tuned for use when needed. Other than that I am not much to brag about. I am created by the owner of the dust in which I am created.

Wow, megs is gettin married. I am happy for her. I am sorry that I'm not there but other that that it is quite a relief to not have to take thousands of wedding pictures haha. Congrats.

We found out that my comps ankle is very very badly sprained... So the doc says. They didn't do an MRI but it seems like it is bruising worse. I guess we will see. I hope all is well.

I got to be part of a baptism and confirmation this week. It was a lady named Judy that the sister taught. The bishop baptized her and everything went great. 

I don't have much to say this week other than the usual. We are seeing progress in our area and life is good. The days seem to mix together and time flies by. I like what I am learning out here and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon haha. duh

Brother landry made some fried jalapeno and cream cheese poppers. We started the idea from the doughy maker (THEY LOVED IT!) and we have been experimenting ​with different recipes. I hope all goes well and y'all have a wonderful week. 

Love y'all

Elder Cooley

Eatin some Gator

I had another good week. All went well except for one thing... my companion tore his Achilles tendon, the doctor thinks. It happened playing soccer on our last p day. I feel bad for him and have been trying to help him out as much as I can. He has an MRI appointment this Tuesday to find out for sure. We have still been working and have actually talked to a few people about baptism this week. He has three months left and I can tell that he gets depressed because of having an injury so close to him finishing. Basically we keep his mind off of it and stay busy and putting a purpose to every moment so that he wont think about it. He is strong and I know that he will be all right. I hope that I can be of some help to him though.

We went to dinner at this black ladies house this week. She made me laugh a lot. She brought out a jar of pickles and told us to eat some with our dinner. I ate one and she told me to take another haha she screamed "You like em?...have another!" "GET IT" "Dont be modest!" "GET IT" "GET IT!" "GET IT!!!" hahaha. She cracks me up. I have never felt more pressured by a black person to eat a piece of food before in my life haha. 

I am going over to the Landry's home tonight to cook them Doughies and have a lesson after that. I hope they like them... oh wait, they are doughies, I know that they will like them ha. 

I went fishing this morning. I didn't catch anything but that was probably because I was reading the whole time. I have come to LOVE reading. Of course it will never replace jumping from planes, the out doors, extreme sports and stuff like that but I enjoy it a lot. My favorite so far is JESUS THE CHRIST. I like reading about Jesus. He was so amazing. I am fascinated by his stories.

I ate some Gator this week. I have had a lot of opportunities to eat it at shops before but Landry cooked it all sorts of ways for us and it was dang good. It is a better version of chicken I think.

We were having a lesson with this Cajun lady this week and her son had to keep telling her that she was speaking in her Cajun accent..."MOM your doing it again!" She would be talking in a thick hick accent and then all the sudden we couldn't understand her at all haha. It sounds like a whole other language. I have heard it before but not as bad as hers haha. She was raised on an island in the swamps and used to take a boat to get to school on the mainland.

I love my area and the people. Have a good week fam. Love y'all.

Elder Cooley

The chance to play with some more gators

I had a good week this week. It feels like we hit a plateau but we have been knocking doors so we will get it going again. 

A friend of mine is going home in 9 days. He is a cool kid and has been good help to me in this area. I hope all goes well for him at home. We have the same type of motivational thinking and get along well. He will do awesome in life.

I love finding someone to talk to but it is a pretty big bummer when they dont come through or show up haha. That happened to us this week, Im used to it. I dont want to be like that to people.

 We had an awesome Pioneers day celebration with our ward. We had a lot of food so they had a linger longer after church the next day. It was the best jambalaya I have ever had. I will get the recipe from the guy.

I am almost done with the book "Jesus the Christ". I Love that book. I love the prospective of Christ. Who better to follow right? haha I would love to sit down with that man... one day I will. 

Sister Crain is still doing good. Yolanda is getting her patriarchal blessing here soon. 

Thank you so much dad for the doughy makers. I am stoked to cook them for some folks down here. I know that they will love them.... who knows maybe they will invent you a deep fried recipe hahaha.

I got the chance to play with some more gators this week. I also pet a nutri rat haha.

I have felt my Spanish take a big step. I understand a lot and do my best to use the right grammar. It is always going to be that way with a language that you are learning... To understand more than you can speak. I think it is because I am with a Mexican hahah. hopefully I can keep up with missionaries that go to South America to learn Spanish haha.

We get a lot of chances to share the gospel at mixed religious group clubs and we might be doing a booth on slu's campus coming up soon. I love to do service projects. I think that it is one of my favorite parts of a mission. The people are hard workers and so friendly. Charity never faileth

Love y'all. 

Elder Shane R. Cooley

"I refuse to sink"

From the beginning of time as a child you are an open book. You are a clean slate; an entire story unwritten. No known fears, no past regrets and only the world of experience ahead of you. This life has shaped you since the day that you realized the reflection in the mirror staring back at you is actually you. We have developed and changed in our lives until this very present moment, even up until the moment of you reading this sentence. The past is important but now the question is "where do we go from here"? Your thoughts as a child were perfect. There was nothing that was holding you back. The world was yours and all of the its possibilities. This is because child's mind doesn't worry about the past. They think that where they went has nothing to do with were they  are going. Where you were didn't matter because that wasn't where you were going to stay.

So what happened to so many of us? Why did people begin doubting and settling for less as  they grew up? No person says to themselves in their childhood days "I want to give up on my dreams and settle for something less" That simply doesn't make any sense. Granted there are some people that are not fully capable to do the dreams that they wanted; but even then possibilities are still beyond measure. What happened to your child-like mind? We as human beings are powerful. Why have so many people forgotten that?  

Life is tough. We catch ourselves asking "am I the weak"? Am I the person that they are talking about when they say "weeding out the weak"? Is this who I am? Am I called to this earth to fill in the gaps as the weak? (the opposition of the successful people in life?) These are all deep questions that a person might feel like when they get down and might ask themselves in their lives. Life is tough and it is easy to feel this way. If you feel this way then I want to tell you that you are not alone. This is not God punishing you or you being unlucky... it is simply just a part of life. Everyone has problems in life, there is no avoiding it. There is not a single person on this earth that doesn't have problems. so what makes the difference? A successful person isn't a person without problems. A successful person is one who has learned how to deal with their  problems.

The thinking that we are weak is not true if you take a look at it from a different prospective. In the book of Genesis in the KJV of the bible it states that we are made in the image of God. Did you hear that? We are made in the image of a GOD! Other beliefs state similar backgrounds and heritage. If you do not believe in a God (something greater than us) then open your eyes and look around. The world is amazing. People are amazing. You are amazing. All of us have a calling in life. Don't give up.

Have you ever wondered why it is so amazing to admire nature? Why is nature so beautiful? This is because all of nature and its elements are perfect. Wind is not water and water is not stone. These things never change. This is because they have found their callings in life. They have found and accomplished that in which they are supposed to be. No person knows the age of elements. No person can tell us how they became that way, But, as human beings we can take a brilliant guess. Nothing is made by the snap of two fingers and done without a process behind the making. This is the same for us as human beings. We are presently becoming what we were  individually designed to be.

We are here to be tested. We are here to take further steps in becoming what we are to become. Don't lose hope. Please, don't lose hope. Keep pressing forward and becoming better every day. Everything is possible and we can know that simply by glancing at the universe. Refuse to sink. This is not the end nor will it ever be. Continue forward and refuse to sink.